To create a visual 'sona
Tuesday, July 16th, 2013 07:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
feel_the_windA cleaner format of musing. I have a habit of rambling and musing, thinking aloud, when in the company of others who inspire or who "get it". But perhaps I am to... noisy.
(Related to this, I sometimes think of my father, who, at his departure, left no traces of his action or intention. Because he was a person of deep secrets, who thought that the best counsel was silence. He was old-fashioned. He didn't write down his thoughts on paper, or typed them out on a computer. He had nobody to talk with about them, no safe space to think aloud. He kept everything in his mind. He didn't take them out to lay them out, untangle them, to weave pictures - but he thought about them for a long time, in private, quietly, while in transit. While resting. While driving. They settled in, they wove deep tapestries he learnt how to read, patiently, over the course of years.)
Now that I know what a reference is, for artistic purposes, and I would like one made, I can begin creating one. Finding the pieces of one from symbology and thought, and weaving together, sketching endlessly until the last line falls into place. I have this issue as I'm a phoenix, but depicting my phoenix self visually simply doesn't feel right. It's too deep, too deep and raw, perhaps spiritual; it does not manifest in a physical form although it manifests in alternate natures, tendencies, perspectives, yearnings that can be best described as an avian experience within the constraints of the human lifetime. Giving it a mask and saying, this is me, feels very weird.(Related to this, I sometimes think of my father, who, at his departure, left no traces of his action or intention. Because he was a person of deep secrets, who thought that the best counsel was silence. He was old-fashioned. He didn't write down his thoughts on paper, or typed them out on a computer. He had nobody to talk with about them, no safe space to think aloud. He kept everything in his mind. He didn't take them out to lay them out, untangle them, to weave pictures - but he thought about them for a long time, in private, quietly, while in transit. While resting. While driving. They settled in, they wove deep tapestries he learnt how to read, patiently, over the course of years.)
But, creating something that artistically embodies what it values and can act as an avatar, that's something that sits well, that I would like very much. Art is about expression. All expression is necessarily not complete, they are actions, not things. They are actions that derive from the same mystical source inside* that makes us who we are. They are things that develop over time, that can be done repeatedly, that brings joy, that brings serenity.
So, what I create in expression... will not be me. But that's alright; it is not meant to be me, but a depiction of things from deep inside, using contemporary symbology. The expression is an action that is both symbolic in its depiction as well as in the symbols are woven into the artistic creation: all little ways to incorporate fractions of the being to create an alternate whole, an avatar.
This is what I want to work on weaving together. And mayhaps I'll need, or would like to, go on a journey to find the threads to weave it with.
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Date: 2013-07-17 02:32 am (UTC)And, I understand about things that are true that are too deep or spiritual to express directly.
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Date: 2013-07-23 04:58 am (UTC)